living my life in a slow hell.

I'm just a girl, pouring myself into pretty words. I don't write to entertain or please, i do it to express. I'm quiet and shy, but my mind is constantly screaming. I like inspiration. Although I might not respond to comments, know I read all of them and appreciate it very much. Whether it's a compliment or criticism.

If you ever need a shoulder to lean on, you can have both of mine. If you ever need someone to listen, I'm all ears.

♥ http://crimsonw1ngs.tumblr.com/

What do you write about when you don’t feel anything?

I watched the storm, late in the night and

felt how the thunder shook under my skin.

I liked how the world raged; like the inside of me.

I sat in alone in a dark room, gasping for air

and trying so hard to hold onto these

words that were never really there.

Memories that didn’t really mean a thing,

but vacant vapors in the air.

I guess I should let go and let the things

that were never going to be, burn to dust.

And get on with being me.

But the problem is, that I’ve lost myself.

So far in the black hole that’s eating it’s way through me,

from the inside out.

You’re the only thing that seems real,

but even now the world just wants to take you from me.

So I’m done with caring, I don’t want to feel a thing.

As I sit here and tighten up, waiting for that sting.

I can’t say it much clearer than this. Fuck everything.

What scares me the most, is admitting that

I’m completely broken and a disaster.

Then realizing that no one can love

someone like this.

I feel like you’re the only one

by my side, and if you ever left

then I’d have nothing to live for.

But if you ever decided to love me again,

then I’d be pieced back together.

She sits, staring out the window wondering why

the world feels seems so lonely all the time.

He calls her up, almost every night.

Sometimes she even wonders why.

If only he could see the tears stream down

her face, when he tells her that he

can’t be in the same place.

But she just smiles, and agrees she’s alright.

When he hangs up, she barely feels alive.

How can you say that feeling something

is better than feeling nothing at all?

While I’m sitting here, stuck in my life

with a cloud of you hanging over my head.

Weighing me down to my knees,

I’d rather be numb than to

feel this absence, instead.

I feel like i’m aching

and i’m breaking, but i

have to keep a smile on

my face or else i’m

going to push everyone away.

How the fuck are you suppose to get through the days, with a smile on your face, when the one thing you need - you feel slipping away. I wish even you could understand just how much I need you here with me. When I hear your voice, it’s the only thing that puts a smile on my face.

I’m better on my own,

it’s better if i don’t care

it’s better if no one’s there.

So i keep myself locked

in this mental cage -

it’s a spiral down from here

i feel it all sinking into my skin.

I’m done, i am.

it’s time to fuck this world

like it’s fucked me.

I just don’t want to

feel a thing no more.

So give me a substance,

give me anything.

I’ve been putting myself

through hell and

i just want to be numb

and not

feel

anything

anymore.

I wish you knew how much I needed you beside me.

When you fall in love with someone, you can’t just get up and walk away like everyone expects you should be able to. When you fall in love with someone, you will stand by their side through everything when the world feels like it’s falling apart around them. Even if it means watching them fall in love with someone else.

I hate the feeling when you have someone so close to you, but you can’t be physically close with them. During the day it’s fine, but at night you can’t hide the hole of absence that is constantly growing bigger every day. The feeling where you’re terrified to lose them because you feel like you’d lose a part of you as well.

Baby, she’s the kind of

girl that will stand by your side

while the rest of the world is

trying to tell her to

walk away instead.

I’ve been praying every day

that love will come my way.

Because it’s getting harder

to make it through these days.

I have a burning

hole inside my chest and

it grows and grows

as i walk through the world

alone at my best.

Will i ever feel the sun light

like i did before?

Will i ever escape the void

that has become my centered world?